Still want more humor?  Well, here it is!  Read on.

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, he looks into his small bowl. It's empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?!!" he
squeaks.

Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it's also empty. "Who's been eating my Porridge?", he  roared.

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this?"
"It was Momma Bear who got up first," 
"It was Momma Bear who woke up everyone in the house."
"It was Momma Bear who made the Coffee,"
"It was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away."
"It was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the paper."
"It was Momma Bear who set the table,"
"It was Momma Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the littler box and filled the cat's water and food dish."
"And, now that you've decided to drag your asses downstairs and grace Momma Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence... Listen good, cause I'm only going to say this one more time.......

"I haven't made the damn porridge yet!!"


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The Washington Post readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of  their choice and explain their reason.

Here are some of the best submissions:

SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.