|
"Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person cannot have an enemy in the world?" The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, and said, "It's easy, I just outlived those bitches.
------------------------------------------------------
Michael Trudeau, host of the afternoon shortwave show "Midas Report" on 12.160 MHz, likes to collect and quip about unusual news stories. Well apparently, someone in Minnesota planned to take a leisurely ride over his home town in a lawn chair buoyed by a cluster of helium filled balloons, which he planned to pop with a pellet rifle he carried to make a planned descent.
Apparently he sort of underestimated the lifting power of his craft, because when he cut his mooring rope, he shot up to a final height of 16,000 feet, according to observers. Michael Trudeau quipped that passing airliner pilots would probably suddenly give up drinking altogether had they seen him float by.
-----------------------------------
OVERHEARD AT BOOK EXPO AMERICA At a major publisher's annual convention several sales people are in the foyer of the convention center. There are thousands of people at the convention, but only about 30 in the foyer at this time.
A cell phone on a coffee table rings and a sales guy engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the foyer pretends to be busy ……. as they listen in.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the convention?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, ...go ahead if you like it that much."
|
|